place: Osnabrück – House of Youth
date: December 13, 2006
Oh, how wonderful is this contemplative pre-Christmas time. Cozy evenings in front of the fireplace, visits to the festively illuminated Christmas market, baking cookies or … the traditional Christmas concert of SCHOOL CHILDREN! Every year the gentlemen give themselves the honor and ennoble Advent with their X-Mas show. So left the Christmas market to the left and continue to the Haus der Jugend, where the "Again sausage for Christmas" tour stopped.
As expected, the anarchos played in front of a sold-out house, just a few courts stayed empty in front of the stage. What would be inconceivable at other seating events has a good reason for the approached SCHOOL CHILDREN, which can already be found in the tour title – but more on that later. After the well-known female voice from the off had drawn our attention to the approaching start of the show, the time had finally come at 8.10 p.m .: The first SCHULKIND Jo Granada took the stage with applause and introduced his colleagues. So the "manager of the good" Charlie Granada on drums, sex guru and sauna landscape owner Heaven (second-time amateur actor on RTL and SAT1) and Dr. Ignatz Ignaz (keys), who recently made a name for himself as the godfather of a sick Peruvian meerkat, made his way onto the stage. Heaven also only had praising words for guitarist Jo, who was also the inventor of the first fully automatic senior car wash and is known only as the “angel from Eversburg”. This should start the musical part of the performance. It started with "Winter Wonderland", the content of which Charlie once experienced personally – well, let’s say it how it is: a song about pooping in the snow. But that’s how we know the STARTED SCHOOL CHILDREN, absolutely taboo-free and, above all, always horny. But stop! Jo taught us otherwise! Especially since a visit to the Fidget Palace Alando in Osnabrück, where they were very impressively shown where excessive sexual lust can lead, the boys no longer want to do these things. For this reason, in honor of Jo’s brother Hartmut, they performed a piece called "Only half as good", which described the all too true fact that "fucking is often only half as good as you would imagine when jerking off." ". Appropriately, a Christmas poem by Jo followed, his wet dreams abruptly with the appearance of Marianne & Michael ended. The two folk musicians (Heaven and Jo) immediately stood on the stage themselves and even had Florian Silbereisen (or was he called Silberhaufen?) At the start. The whole thing was a live broadcast from Afghanistan, where Marianne & Michael wanted to strengthen the morale of the German blue helmets. After Grinsemann Florian S. had tested the functionality of his keyboard, company cook Lieutenant Colonel Schulz briefly instructed us militarily in the secrets of catering. The most important thing: you have to slaughter it first and then let it bleed properly. The Mariannderl had prepared something very special for the soldiers who were starved in many ways. In the background, the lieutenant colonel prepares a delicious couscous, while the show in the front looked towards its first climax.
Mariannderl with a highly erotic belly dance number! The hall was raging, which became no less when the "lady" tried the just finished meal, declared it too bland and resorted to the hot sausages they had brought with them. The first two rows emptied suddenly, obviously they were repeat offenders, because everyone who has already attended a SCHULKINDER concert knows that sausage rain can now be expected. The terrorist photographer also sensed danger and quickly changed location and followed Marianne from a safe distance & Michael performed "Heimatlied" and the "Viva Afghanistan" (after "Viva Colonia"). There is hardly anything that is as fascinating as it is repulsive like Heaven’s almost simultaneous food intake and reproduction. While the spectators swaying in safety sobbed with pleasure, Heaven distributed a well-chewed sausage carpet in the same manner, also spouting on the edge of the stage. After the stage became unplayable in this way, Jo and Heaven were drawn to the audience. Anyone who still believed that nothing could happen to him, that he was sitting far enough away from the action, was deceived and had to expect to hear one or the other insult or bitter mockery from Jo. Heaven supported this endeavor vigorously, while the audience could not decide whether to be happy that someone else was caught or whether it would be better to be as inconspicuous as possible. This dialogue with the auditorium is simply a must and, as Jo Granada always says, “It’s all fun!” But now it was time to ask to finally drink and a 30-minute stage cleaning break was heralded.
After the first half was marked by new pieces and modified classics, the second block began with the older "thumb in the butt", which was also sung along eagerly. At the finale, Heaven stupidly punched the mic in the forehead, which was immediately manifested with a horn. The band recommended to press a cool knife on the damaged area, a helpful young man instead provided a cool beer, which was used immediately both externally and internally. A very noble gesture from the spontaneous Samaritan, since he was forced to hand over his beer bottle to Heaven before the break. Apparently the cold barley bowl worked well and immediately, so that Heaven was able to present his filigree flute playing for the following "Who already had breakfast before". What some lustful men do with their "flute" before they even start eating is left to my readers’ imaginations. In the meantime, the second live broadcast was coming up in the Haus der Jugend. This time it went to the La Scala in Milan to the "3 Negroes" (Charlie, Dr. Ignatz and Heaven), who noisily intoned classical music with their bulging lips in the cheeky bast skirt. Immediately afterwards “Eckis Samba-Express” from Icker stopped in Osnabrück. Always a guarantee of good mood and a term for every shooting club visitor in the region. Now the veteran artists are a bit diva-like and can hardly get on stage without frenetic applause. But the audience was hot for this top act of first-class mood music full of thrill and so the Samba Express duo (Charlie and Heaven) came into the spotlight in a relatively good mood. So excited, only these two entertainers can interpret "Listen what comes in from outside". Another milestone of the STARTED SCHOOL CHILDREN was announced with the "Sesame Street" melody. The mere prospect of "The waning Schnuffeltuch" almost made the hall frenzy and Jo still seems to like this classic. Samson’s complaint that someone wanked his sniffing towel, that it must have been Tiffy and the following clarification session from Lilo, including the escalation of the situation, is really refreshing even after several performances, even if some young responsible mother is a thorn in the side. Perhaps the subsequent gospel number could bring one or two mothers back into the boat. Jo definitely gave everything as a preacher and human fisherman and looked for them again neighborhood of the audience. With his own immeasurable knowledge of human nature, he brought the sins of some guests to light. Only Roman was flawless and was therefore allowed to come on stage to sing together. However, it then turned out that the fine novel was not without sin, as he confessed that he had always wanked with Jo in the past. The Godfather of the schoolchildren immediately used this hint to introduce a few adolescents to some tips and tricks on this important topic. To summarize briefly: Always wash your hands afterwards!
It went really quickly at the Great Gildewart. Once again, dear friends of SCHULKINDER had announced and Heaven had the great honor to announce Peter Maffay. Of course, such a huge star doesn’t just come on stage, there have to be a few show elements. Therefore one remembered the time-honored disco with Ilja Richter and the "light off – spot on" procedure and implemented this procedure 1 to 1. And there he stood in all his 1.50 m grandeur: Peter Maffay (Charlie)! In order to finally transform the concert venue into a witch’s cauldron, veteran rocker and Nuschelkönig Udo Lindenberg (Jo) also joined the likeable exiled Romanian and accompanied by Udo Jürgens (Heaven and the doctor) on the piano they sang "Let it be" – the German version from "Let It Be" by BEATLES. In addition, the song was also hummed, and performed on "Tütütü" and "Piss mich an". Lighters were pulled out and at Jo’s sign everyone climbed onto their chairs to demonstrate their connection with the protagonists on the stage. Okay, actually it was the herd instinct, but it didn’t matter to Mr. Granada, he thought it was great again, that the SCHULKINDER fans really go along with every shit. Meanwhile, Peter Maffay was completely in ecstasy, sang an ecstatic "piss me on" and only fell silent when he realized that he was singing his song all by himself. It almost looked like a peak of obscure entertainment that couldn’t be topped and the end of the show, but actually "Kill Uncle Dittmeyer" has always been part of the Christmas tour; "I want to make love to Steffi Graf" is unfortunately no longer to be expected since 1994, the 60,000.00 DM judgment (plus court and legal fees) against the approached SCHOOL CHILDREN. Instead, Heaven acted on a children’s key clarinet, which could only mean that the hit "Marina" would be rocked. So it happened and both audience and guitarist Jo Granada went crazy. Jo bribed with a daring guitar balance act and naturally gifted string playing. The remaining bandmen also had the opportunity for a solo performance and were duly presented again. "Gut Bye" – a soulful power rock ballad with a good reverberation on the voice and a confused English / German mix that Doro Pesch could not have done better, seemed to finally conclude the evening, which Jo obviously finished, this fact showed him but so clearly the finiteness of all being. But no, there was a short but succinct look-up with "Ooh" and the associated invitation to fuck because of the non-ebbing applause.
So after two hours of rough but extremely entertaining entertainment we were sent back to the really not cold December night without Uncle Dittmeyer and the crazy Christmas medley, but we also had an absolutely successful evening with very nice new things. A tour is finally planned for 2007, so keep an eye on whether the STARTED SCHOOL CHILDREN are not coming to your city too! You shouldn’t be squeamish, however, after all, life is not an embroidered doily and how does even a big German tabloid say? Every truth needs a brave, which they pronounce! Keep it up, gentlemen!
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